The 5 Stages of My Makeup Evolution: Stage 1

Stage 1: Makeup to cover-up

I had always known about makeup.  It had been something that my mom puts on whenever there's a special occasion or pictures to be taken.  My earliest memory of makeup was when I was about 4 or 5 and my parents had my pictures taken.  Back then in my country this was a pretty damn big deal.  My mom donned me in my cleanest dress, neatly coiffed my bird's nest, and as a final touch, she dabbed some blush on my cheeks and some rouge on my lips.  The picture might have looked ridiculous, but I sure felt like a glamourous princess that day.

The next time that I would have makeup on my face was after we moved to the United States.  I was a 9 year old third-grader, freshly planted in an American school surrounded by American boys and girls.  They were anomalies to me as much as I was an anomaly to them.  My lack of English was something else that divided me from everyone else in my class.  Without a way to connect and make friendship, they turned to teasing me about all that is different between me and them - my hair, my skin, my teeth, my nose, and mostly, my eyes.

When people say kids can be cruel, I can only agree wholeheartedly.  The teasing about my Asian eyes were so bad that I distinctly remembered waking up early one morning before school to use my mom's eyeliner to draw on fake creases on my eyelids.  I looked absolutely ridiculous.  So ridiculous that I have blocked out part of that day's memories - I can't recall if I went to school like that or if someone stopped me from that tragedy.  I do remember getting a very embarrassing lecture that night from my father's friend's daughter.  In front of my entire family she lectured me on why I shouldn't be using makeup so young; that no one in elementary school wears makeup and that it's ridiculous to even think about such thing at that age.  Of course looking back she was right; but at the time how I wished she could've experienced my pains at school.

I didn't touch makeup again until  late high-school.  At that time I was still very insecure about myself - my teeth weren't perfect, my eyes weren't big and round like every one else at school, my skin was beginning to go through its acne flares.  During this time makeup was a resource I tried to use to cover up giant angry pimples that always, always, crop up overnight in the middle of my face.  At this point in my life, I had no idea what makeup to use or even how to use it.  I was also ignorant about how clean my face before and after putting on makeup, which probably contributed to the sprouting of many more pimples.

Even when I got to college, makeup really didn't make sense.  I knew what pretty looked like on other people but never imagined myself to have the capacity to look as pretty, so makeup was "pretty" but useless.  For special occasions and such I did put on makeup, but not in any way that looked good.  Two products that I remember using that now make me shudder violently:

Maybelline Mineral Power Liquid Foundation

This disaster of a foundation made my already oily skin extra, extra greasy.  Half an hour in to wearing it, my face would become so shiny and reflective.  In addition, a gross oily + powder film would transfer to anything that touched my face.  But never did I question why my face was felt so gross or looked like I'd dunk it in a vat of vaseline; I just assumed that was how all makeup felt.  I had no idea what my skin type was or how to accomodate it.  Powder over your foundation?  What for?!  I was cluelessly slathering this sh*t on my face whenever I felt the need to wear makeup; the only saving grace is that I didn't wear it very often.

Maybelline Great Lash Mascara

This was the first mascara I ever bought, and the only mascara I ever owned for a very long time.  It was in every beauty magazine I ever flipped through, winning all these awards for all these years.  I figured if it stuck around for 4 decades, it must be a fantastic product.  False!  I realize now that this mascara is the crappiest of crap mascara on the market, doing absolutely nothing good and everything bad to my lashes.  It didn't add any volume or length; it didn't hold a curl.  Whatever product I put on my lashes made them droopy, and gave me the worst raccoon eyes ever.  I despise this product and I despise all the ads that claim it to be anything but crap.  But at the time, I thought that's how all mascaras were supposed to be...

During this stage of my makeup evolution, I was pretty much Oblivious Olivia.  I had no clue about skincare (it's actually a miracle that I even knew to wash my face back then!), what my skin type is, what colors suited me, how to use makeup, why to use certain products... I used products blindly (or based on magazine suggestions) to hide myself; all the particulars about makeup that is so wonderful completely escaped me.  It was merely a way to cover up.